Tuesday Night Dinner

Looking for some inspiration in the kitchen. Right now I mostly want to eat boxed mac 'n' cheese and potato chips, but I know I can't keep that up forever. Plus, DH is supposed to be watching his cholesterol... So I'm making an effort. Here was Tuesday's yum, courtesy of Everyday Food. Super easy, light, refreshing, minimal cleanup. Couldn't ask for much more.

I followed the recipe exactly, and it was delicious. The only change I would make next time is to add a splash of white wine to the packet before I seal it up.

Tonight? Butternut Squash Soup with Star Anise and Ginger Shrimp. (This might be a tough sell for DH. Going to leave the words butternut squash out of the description.)

Birds. Sky.

It seems all the robins in Tennessee woke up from their winter nap today and descended on our neighborhood. Took the dog for a walk around 4pm and was so confused by all the swarming birds.

This morning, at 6:30am, the sky here looked a little like Oregon, a little like Bend, and it helped me not feel so sad.

Can't Pry This Mouth Open

I just don't want to talk right now. Cycles like this come and go. I don't know why. The last year in particular has involved a lot of silence. I don't want to retell horrible stories over and over again--about our financial situation, our forced move, my sadness over infertility, general unhappiness, relationship difficulties. So I just don't listen to my voice mails or return calls. Ostriching. I know I'm hurting people in the process and that really upsets me, but whatever level of upset I'm feeling isn't changing the way I'm handling the situation.

I haven't called my mom.

I haven't called my neighbor, who I miss so much.

I haven't called my brother back.

I have cloistered myself in my office and am avoiding conversation with even my husband (poor guy...he has no idea what to do with me).

My lips just feel glued shut. And I feel guilty because I'm concerned that I'll get on the phone with Mom (or whoever), and she'll just want to talk and talk and talk. And I just don't want to.

I'm not expressing myself very well. I read through this and think, How basic. That's the best you've got, Jen?

Yup. For now.

I'm going to try to muster up the will to call my mom tonight. I told her I would. My parents miss me; they're worried; I feel bad. It just feels like it'll take so much energy to follow through with the phone call. Bleh.

We Have a Sinus Rhythm

The Accidental Domestic flat-lined for a while. I believe we're back in a sinus rhythm again. Just like every single journal or diary I've ever tried to keep over the years, this effort has been neglected, forgotten, ignored. But unlike my response to previous periods of neglect, I'm not going to tear the pages out of this journal and start over. Just gonna try writing again. We'll see what happens.

Magazine Organization Crisis

I want to keep, keep, keep most of my cooking mags (Cooking Light, Everyday Food, Bon Appetit, Cuisine at Home), and I'd just like to be able to FIND the others until I've had the chance to read them. Thank you, Real Simple, for giving me some options I can live with. None of these solves my problem with keeping/storing/organizing the cooking mags, but it does give me an option for keeping the most current issues out and displayed so I can use them for that month.

Illuzine Magazine Rack

I'd probably use this one to keep current foodie mags displayed in the kitchen.

Crate and Barrel Magazine Rack

Under the living room side table. Or next to the bed.

IKEA Spontan

Bathroom. Solved.

My Writing Ability Appears to Be Limited to 140 Characters

Tweets are about all I've been able to cough up lately.

Some domestic (and otherwise) bits have been happening of late, but I just can't seem to find the time to document or reflect. We leave for Idaho in a couple days for little sis's high school graduation--a day I honestly can't believe has arrived--so immediate updates are unlikely. I'm sure gonna try though!

Last Night I Dreamed Good Things

We moved to Tennessee so I could go back to school (which isn't even something I want to do, at least not right now), and I finally had a baby. It was a great dream. I miss Tennessee. And I want a baby.